So a dude turns to the guy next to him at a bar and asks, “Hey, you wanna hear a redneck story?
“The guy says, “Buddy, I’m six feet, 210 pounds, an’ ma name’s Billy Joe. You see the guy on the other side of you? That there’s Bubba. He’s 225 pounds of solid muscle and he’s a redneck. And the boy next to him? Mike’s a trucker who weighs 295 and he’s a redneck, too. Now, do you still want to tell your redneck story?”The fella says, “Naw, you’re right. . . I’d hate to have to explain it three times!”
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.The passenger, Bubba, said “lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it’s a poll-ice roadblock!! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!!” Don’t worry, Bubba”, Earl said. “We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat”.
“What?”, asked Bubba. “Just let me do the talkin’, OK?”, said Earl. Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a label on their forehead. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, “You boys been drinkin’?” “No, sir”, said Earl. “We’re on the patch”!
You might be a redneck if you go to a family reunion to meet girls…
So there were three rednecks walking down a country road. They find a dead opossum that was ran over.
The 1st redneck says, “that there looks tasty”!
The 2nd redneck says, “I don’t much like opossum.”
The 3rd redneck says, “I’m a waitin for something better.
So… the 1st redneck eats the opossum.
Then, down the road they find a dead rabbit.
The 1st redneck says he’s full. The 2nd redneck says he likes rabbit and the 3rd redneck says he’s still waitin for something better.
So… the 2nd redneck eats the rabbit.
Further down the road the first two rednecks who ate the opossum and the rabbit start barfing like crazy.
The 3rd redneck says, “Finally, a nice warm meal.