Love jokes

A older couple are driving down the highway when another car passed them.

The woman notices the occupants of the other car are young and obviously in love. The girl is sitting very close to her boyfriend as they cruise down the highway.

This causes the woman to think back to when she and her husband were young and in love, and wondering where the show of affection had disappeared to over the years.

Finally she says to her husband, “Remember when we used to be like that young couple? Where did the love go, honey?” He quietly replied, “I haven’t moved….”

 Love jokes

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you.”

“My darling,” he replied, “I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”

 Knock knock jokes

Knock Knock.

Who’s there?

Vitamin.

Vitamin who?

Vitamin for a party!

 kids jokes

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, “We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power.

Can anybody tell me what it is?”

One child blurted out, “Aces!”

 kids joke

There were 2 kids walking home from school.They had found a shortcut the day before, so they took this shortcut.

They found a old cabin.They pressed their ears against the door & they heard
“When I get ya I’m gonna eat ya!”

The 2 kids open the door & the voice grew louder! They had noticed that the voice was coming from the closet, so they slowly opened the door & found an old man picking his nose.

The old man says,”Sorry, I don’t have enough for all of us!!!!!!!”

 Kids joke

3 sky divers were diving but there parachutes were faulty and they all died.
They went to heaven and there before those 3 men stood God.

“Go down the slide and you will receive one wish what you wish for is what you get at the end of the slide, “boomed God’s voice.

The first man slid down and said “SPORTS CAR” and sure-enough there was a sports car.

The second man went down and said “MONEY” and he received money.

The third man jumped down the slide and said “WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

 Animal jokes

There were 3 guys walking in the woods and they came across this huge hole in the path.

The 1st guy says “Lets throw some rocks in the hole and see how deep it is.” So thats what they did only they didn’t hear it hit bottom.

So the 2nd guy says “I saw a log back there lets get that and throw that in.” So thats what they did.

Then this old farmer comes walking up and says “Have you seen my goat go by here?”

The 3rd guy replies “We saw one jump down in that hole.”

The farmer replies “That couldn’t have been my goat. He was tied to a log.”

 Animal jokes

There once was 3 fish (the mom,dad,son) who needed a place to sleep.

The mom slept in the kitchen sink.

The dad slept in the the bathtub.

The son slept in the toilet.

The next morning the dad asked the mom how her night was.

“Okay, but it was a little too small, said the mom”

The mom asked the dad how his night was.

“Just fine. There was a lot of room to swim,” said the dad.

The dad asked his son how his night was.

“Horrible!!”, said the son. It was raining scat and logs all night long!!”

 Animal jokes

Two little ladies were shopping in the mall when Joanne smiled: “My cat can really play chess!”

With a shocking expression, Angelina praised Joanne’s cat: “Really? It must be very smart!”

Just when Angelina finished her sentence, Joanne said:” Well… Actually, I don’t know about that. I usually win three out of four times.”

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