adult knock knock jokes

Knock, Knock! Who’s There? Anita! Anita who? Anita Dick inside me!

 funniest adult jokes

A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate. He walked up to the driver’s window and knocked. The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, “Yes Officer?”

“What are you doing?” the policeman asked. “What does it look like?” answered the young man. “I’m reading this magazine.” Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, “And what is she doing?” The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, “What does it look like? She’s knitting.”

“And how old are you?” the officer then asked the young man. “I’m nineteen,” he replied. “And how old is she?” asked the officer. The young man looked at his watch and said, “Well, in about twelve minutes she’ll be sixteen.”

 best adult jokes

One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.

“You’re a goblin,” she says, “I caught you and you owe me three wishes!”. So the goblin replies “OK, you caught me fair and square, what’s your first wish?”. The woman stops and thinks for a second, “I want a huge mansion to live in.”, goblins replies “OK, you’ve got it.”. Woman again thinks it over, “My second wish is a Mercedes.” “OK, you’ve got that too.” “My last wish is a million dollars!”. The goblin then says “OK, you’ve got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me.” “OK then, if that’s what it takes…”

Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.

“Tell me,” says the man, “how old are you?” “I’m 27”, she replies

“Fuck me”, says the man, “27 and you still believe in goblins”

 dirty jokes

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?”

The husband replied, “All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry.”

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, “What are you thinking now?”

He replied, “It looks as if I did a pretty good job.”

 funny jokes

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously drunk.”

Our wasted friend asked, “Officer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?”

“Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,” said the copper. “Let’s go.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, “Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled.”

 hindi adults jokes

Vese To Suna Tha Ki Sab Doctor Tharki Hoti Hai, Par Ye Wala To Kuch Jyada Hi Tharki Nikla. Ilaz Karna To Dur Khud Hi Bimar Ho Gaya”

Badi Dukhi Si Halat Mein Ek Marij Sex Ke Doctor Ke Pass Gaya.

Marij: “Doctor Sahab, Mera Khada Nahi Hota”

Doctor Ne Apni Ek Sunder Si Nurse Ko Bola.

Doctor: “Nurse Idhar Aao, Apni Bra Utaro”

Doctor Ne Fir Marij Se Puchha: “Ab Use Dekho, Khada Hua?”

Marij: “No”

Doctor: “Nurse, Apni Panty Utaro”

Doctor: “Ab?”

Marij: “No”

Doctor: “Ab Tum Bahar Jao Mera Khada Ho Gaya Hai“

 adult christmas jokes

Why are women’s breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ?
Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.

 hilarious adult jokes

A man was going to the dentist to get some teeth pulled. The dentist was about to give the man some local anesthesia to numb the pain.”Don’t give me any drugs doc, I can take the pain.” the man said.The doctor pulled the first tooth out and the man just grunted. Then the doctor attempted to pull the second tooth, only this one snapped in half. But again the man just grunted. “Wow, that sure is a lot of pain just to grunt at, have you ever felt pain like that before?” asked the amazed dentist.”Well, twice actually.” said the man, “The first time was when I was out in the woods and had to take a crap really bad. I pulled down my pants and jumped over this log. Just then a bear trap closed on my balls and I started running….””Damn that must have hurt.” the dentist interrupted. “What was the second time?””Oh, that would have been when the bear trap came to the end of it’s chain.”

 funny adults jokes

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.

The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, “Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.

 adult blonde jokes

Q: What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
A: When you slap a mosquito, it will stop sucking.

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