Adult Jokes

 Funny jokes dirty

Can we do romance in the midnight today?
I’m in a good mood:)
Just a little bit of kissing and biting!!
Reply me soon,
yours Loving Mosquito.

 Good jokes

A guy walks into a bar and plunks down a huge piece of asphalt. The bar tender asks “What’ll you have?”
The guy replies, “Give me a beer and another one for the road.”

 Very funny adult jokes

A Sardar & his wife filed an application for divorce.

Judge asked :
How will you divide, you have 3 children?

Sardar replied :
Ok! We will apply next year.

 Little johnny jokes

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?”

When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good” and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Saviour,” But, April didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ‘JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!”

The Teacher fainted.

 Yo mama jokes

Yo mama so fat God told her he had no room in heaven and the devil said there was no room in hell

 Joke of the day

A young girl after her honeymoon
came fully exhausted and tired,

When her friends asked her what happened?

She replied :
When this 70 year old bastard told me
he has saved a lot from last 50 years,

“I thought It was MONEY”

 Jokes dirty

I want to suck you
lick you
wanna move my tongue all over you
wanna feel you in my mouth
yep, that’s how you
eat an ice cream!

 Knock knock jokes for adults

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Madame.

Madame who?

Madame foot’s caught in the door!

 Adult jokes funny

In a bath room,
a boy touches a girl everywhere!
You Know whose that boy?
Stupid It’s Lifeboy Soap!
Dirty people always think dirty.

 Adult santa jokes

Banta sits down at the bar, orders a drink and holds his head in his hands.

When the bartender comes back, Banta is swearing softly under his breath and shaking his head.

“Hey Banta, what’s happening?” asks the bartender.

“I’m in DEEP SHIT,” Banta replies. “I just got caught screwing my neighbour.”

“Oh wow!” says the barman, “Who caught you? Your wife or her husband?”

“No,” said Banta, “HIS wife!”